Just my thoughts

I moved to this place to create a better life for myself and my children. I really was hoping to see my career take off, which in my mind would mean more money, which would equal a better life.
I know that money doesn't buy you happiness, but it's sure important... like breathing. I really wanted to have a life where we didn't worry about being able to pay the bills, and when emergencies show up we could cover it, and could eat out how ever much we wanted and be able to go on trips etc.
But here I am poverty stricken once again. Of course I am richer than I think. Heck we pay 1990.00 for rent and 650.00 for private school fees per month. But it's the debt load that hangs over my head. Too much spending, when there was work, too much spending when there wasn't work. Credit cards were at times a way to keep us alive. I will admit there is always frivolous spending.

A year ago I was introduced (on line) to a author named Elizabeth Gilbert. She had some phenomenal book out that went crazy in sales and changed her life. Actually the book was about 'how' she had changed her life from desperation to peace. She had changed, wrote the book and her life changed yet again.

When I first watched her presentation on TED called A DIFFERENT WAY TO THINK ABOUT THE CREATIVE GENIUS, it was mind boggling how effortless she presented. She was in a realm beyond me, and spoke about the creative process I was amazed and I loved it, I ran out bought the book. (Not that the book was about her presentation)
If you know me, you know I LOVE to buy books with good intentions of 'ONE DAY' I'm going to read them all! I will proudly say I have read at least half of this book. It was inspiring, and I felt that she was telling my story on these pages. Yes, it was amazing and inspiring to find someone as crazy as myself in black and white.
I've kept trying to finish it... but after a long break from reading, Ihave lost some of my memories of some of the content.
Happily I found out they made a movie about the book! (more and more I realize that I am a visual learner which might be another reason why I don't fully read the books I buy)
The movie came out and I was on a mission! I didn't take anyone with me, I just needed to be alone. I didn't want someone else to distract me or complain they didn't like it etc...
I WAS MOVED!
How was I to remember all the important lessons that were helping her to grow and change to a woman of peace right before my eyes? I immediately made the decision to see it again, buy the DVD and finish reading the damn book. Five days after seeing it the first time, I saw it again. A little less frantic on trying to remember everything that was going to help me change my life, which I took as a good sign; but still determined to learn the freedoms to peace that she found.

On my drive home from the movie, still in tears, I started to stop looking at my bad and start looking at my good. All the good things that I 'had' done for my children, how I have shown them courage, strength, determination, opportunities that can be created, and survival! I feel like a failure so weak and lifeless most of the time, but this is in my head, probably due to fear. But who I am and what I do is completely different.
How many people would sell their house, pack up their five children and move to a city they've never really been to? Then proceed to create a life, make friends with musicians, land gigs at prestigious venues, record 3 albums within 4 years of being here, still keep her kids organised, fed and sheltered while walking them through some of their own difficult situations, work part time, then work full time all while gigging 3-5 times per month, not to mention while working in and around and through a messed up relationship which cancer enters the picture 2 years in.
I'M PRETTY AMAZING!!!!

Diva M

We Interrupt Our Scheduled Recording...

We Interrupt Our Scheduled Recording to bring you the beginning of 'another' recording!

The adventures in recording part 5

When you are not a full time musician and have a regular J.O.B. & family, it's hard to keep things focused and on track. The summer has come and is quickly coming to an end and we have not been back to the studio since June. Music festivals, vacations and schedules have kept us from continuing with the recording.
The good news is we will be back to the studio at the end of August and hopefully that will allow us to finish things up, at least on the recording end of things. Next will be photos and CD layout and THEN duplication. I suspect that the album will be completed in October! (hoping hoping hoping)

So in the mean time..
I have had the wonderful opportunity to work with Karel Roessingh who is a phenomenal pianist. I first met Karel through another musician who was unable to play on my Summertime EP album. Karel was recommended to me as a replacement.
I called him up said who I was and what I wanted, and he said SURE!
The music Karel played on the album was wonderful!!! his solo for La Vie En Rose is exquisite. Many times as I listen to the solo, I rewind it to listen to it over and over. Since that time we've had opportunity to play a couple of gigs together, the caliber that Karel is has pushed me and allowed me to grow more as a musician.

All of this to say, I am beginning another recording with Karel this week!
This will be an easy listening Jazz and Blues album of my Mother's favourite tunes that I sing.

My Mom who truly is my biggest fan, was at each and every one of my performances in Prince George when I lived there. Now that I am an Island girl, she sadly says, "I 'wish' I could be there with you" when I am heading out to a gig.
The wheels in my brain started spinning when I overheard someone talking about Karel’s studio, I thought this would be fantastic! Karel is great to work with, a phenomenal musician and then is able to record as well! WOO HOO HOO!

Next a benefactor came who would loan me the funds to create this new project… double WOO HOO HOO! Chatted with my mom and asked her what songs would she like me to do? And we’ve got a strong list of her favourite songs. (most of them are popular standards) It will be great mix of Jazz and Blues mostly love songs and as she calls them “the breaka my heart songs” too.

This will be a most wonderful experience for me to work with Karel and I’m excited to finally have the long awaited Jazz album.

and my Mom will finally have me wrapped up in a disc to play at home... over and over and over and over and over.....

Diva M